


Starships and Broken Hearts

by TheCandyMarwhal



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: I'm Sorry, Other, also tw for abaondoment, anyways tw for mentions of pregnancy/labor pains, but there's some soft at the end, so this is so angsty, that was the request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 00:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30012987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCandyMarwhal/pseuds/TheCandyMarwhal
Summary: The story of Newton Somers, as told by his mother, Mary.
Relationships: Bangalore | Anita Williams/Horizon | Mary Somers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Starships and Broken Hearts

Mary was humming very softly, hips awning slightly as she bustled around the apartment, a few catalogs in her hand as she looked around the place. “Arlo, dear?” She called softly, “Och, where could they be at this hour?” She muttered, peeking into their bedroom, and not finding him there. She rolled her eyes then just went to sit on the couch in the living room, knees pulled up on the couch and stretched out before her as she lounged, one hand over her stomach. She opened one of the catalogs she had and started flipping through it, humming softly. ‘What do ya’ think, dearie?” She murmured to herself, seemingly, “Should we do stars or wee dinosaurs? Ooh, or maybe a wee forest pattern? With little bunnies and birdies scattered around, hm?” She was smiling as she looked down at her stomach, the slight bump there filling her with soft warmth and joy, one that she had cherished since she and Arlo had decided they wanted a baby and one that had grown since they’d seen the first ultrasound. She knew in her heart it’d be a boy, but she hadn’t mentioned it to them yet, knowing that her partner had zero interest in putting gender roles on their child, and she agreed, so names hadn’t been talked about, or colors for the room or anything like that. 

She could dream, though, and stars or a forest or dinosaurs seemed like a good starting point for some neutral things?  
  


Well… alright, maybe dinosaurs _typically_ weren’t neutral, but _she_ had liked the creatures as a child and had them scattered around her room, along with models of stars and planets and spaceships. So that meant they weren’t just for boys. 

She chuckled softly to herself, her hand just stroking lightly over her stomach as she kept the magazines on her knees and flipped through them, murmuring to the little one growing inside her. 

A few hours later, the door clicked and then opened, and her partner walked in the door, their hair pulled back up into a messy bun and bundled in a sweater and jacket, and looking around carefully. “Mary…?” They called softly, hesitantly. 

There was a sleepy grumble, and Mary’s head popped groggily over the back of the couch as the woman sat up, smiling slightly at the sight of her partner. “Lo.” She greeted softly, going to stand with a groan, kind of stretching then grinning as they hurried over to her and wrapped their arms around her waist, resting their forehead against her shoulder. “Aw, was it a hard day, pet?” She whispered, “Did they work my sweet pea to death?”   
  


All that earned was a nod, Arlo just holding onto her. “So many meetings.” They groaned softly, “And they just kept droning on for hours and hours and I just wanted to come home.” 

The woman let out a soft hum, gently running a hand down their back. “Do I need tah go give ‘em a stern talking to?” She asked, only half-joking, “Tell them they gotta let yah’ take half days because I’m sufferin’ something awful?” 

“Would you?” Came their muffled reply, “Because if you could actually convince them to give me half days or let me work from home, that’d be awesome.” They carefully pulled back and looked up at their fiancée, smiling a little before stretching up to kiss her nose. “But how are you? Are you feeling alright? Drank enough water and had all your meals today?” They glanced around the apartment suspiciously. “You rested today, right? No research papers?”   
  
Mary was chuckling softly, “Yes, I had water and ate every time I was supposed tah. There was no research paper, but I was doing research.” She pointed back to the couch. “I was looking for things for the baby. To plan.” She looked a little nervous as she spoke, “We can’t keep putting it off forever, Lo, one day we’ll have to get things for their room and-”   
  


“Yeah, yeah, I know. If we keep putting it off, they’ll be right on top of us like Christmas.” They interrupted, doing a not half bad impression of Mary’s accent. “I know, okay, I just… I have too much going on between them and everything at work, and dodging fifty million reporters asking about you-”

“Arlo-”

“Don’t ‘Arlo’ me, Mary!” They exclaimed, stepping back and taking a deep breath. “It’s just… a lot, okay. If I had known work was going to explode like this, I would have said we waited a while longer before we started this, because what kind of life can we give a baby if your work takes you all over the planet or god knows where else, and mine just keeps me chained to a desk all day? What kind of life is that, Mary? What kind of life is that for _us_ ?!”   
  
She was quiet for a long time, gazing at them, the one she’d fallen in love with and given her whole heart to years ago. “It isn’t always like this, Arlo, you know that. I can take them with me when I go to lectures, you can work something out with Donald, he has three wee ones of his own, it isn’t like he wouldn’t understand. He used to be my boss too, remember?”   
  


Arlo just huffed, crossing their arms. “I remember.” They grumbled, still seeming upset.   
  
The woman gazed at them, before stepping closer and going to gently touch their arm. “C’mon, let’s order food tonight, hm?” She whispered, “We can get your favorite. No work talk, no baby talk, just us against the world and enjoying a good movie and cuppa tea.” 

They tensed, stubbornly keeping their gaze away from her before they sighed and nodded, moving closer while taking her hand, and whispering a soft ‘Sorry, lamb.’

Mary just nodded, squeezing their hand and replying with her own whisper of ‘I know.’ and leaning to gently kiss beside their mouth, lingering for a moment before backing away, only to be tugged forward into a proper kiss by Arlo, the gesture soft and sweet. 

They took a moment, breaths intermingling and hands trailing across hips, shoulders, and stomachs, hands tangling in hair as the moment got more heated and hungry, Arlo pushing Mary back against the counter behind them ever so gently, hands on the woman’s hips before she pulled back with the softest gasp. “We… need tah’ order food.” She whispered breathlessly, gazing at her lover as she swallowed and tried to even her breathing. 

They kind of pouted, leaning forward to gently kiss her between each word as they spoke. “But I was gone for so many hours and I didn’t get my goodbye kiss when I left this morning because you were still sleeping and I know you’ve been having a hard time with that.” 

She exhaled forcefully, looking torn for a second, clearly struggling to not return the gesture. “Order food, then yah’ can have all the kisses you want, Lo.” She bargained, making her partner pause thoughtfully and then pull away with a nod. 

“Depending on the delivery time, can I kiss _wherever_ I want?”   
  
“...we’ll see.”

\------------------------------------------------------

“You really have to do this?” Arlo asked quietly from where they were laying on the bed, watching Mary pack away clothes in her suitcase. The room was darker than normal, considering it was past midnight, and neither of them had bothered to turn on the lights. 

The woman sighed, and turned to them, her baby bump much more evident than it had been a few weeks ago. “I’m sure, Lo. The university asked me to lecture about black holes and the theory of relativity, and they offered to pay a lot for it. I can’t just… not take an opportunity like this. It’ll only be for a few days, a week at most, and I’ll call ya’ every night so we can talk and have dinner and our regular bedtime tea, alright?” 

They were quiet, just gazing at her before sighing and nodding. “Yeah.” They mumbled, their arms crossed over their chest. “I’m just… worried. It’s the first time you’ve been out since we found out about the baby, and I’m worried reporters will start harassing you again, like last time.” 

Mary snorted, “You mean after my jump jets?” She teased softly, “Arguably, that was a wee more newsworthy than me expectin’ a little one, darlin’.” She moved over and carefully crawled up onto the bed, huffing a little then moving to gently pull the other close to her, moving to press soft kisses into their neck, trying to soothe them. “I’ll be fine. Really. Everythin’ will be right as rain and I’ll be home and back with you soon.”

They grumbled slightly, head tilting back a little at the kisses, but they didn’t ease that much. “You had better call me more than at night.” 

“Of course, darlin’. I wouldn’t miss any chance to call you for the world.” 

A sigh and then a soft ‘Alright, fine.’ as they turned onto their side and gently pulled Mary’s head up to kiss her, smiling against the gesture. “I also expect hourly updates on how you and the little one are doing.” They added, chuckling a little after they pulled away.

She laughed, “Hourly updates it is!” She cheered, before gently pulling her partner back for another kiss. 

\------------------------------------------------------

“-so you’re telling me that a seventeen-year-old could recite and edit working formulas on the space-time theory?” Arlo asked from where they were laying on the bed, staring at the tablet propped up on the pillows beside them. “I don’t believe you.”   
  
“I _swear_ to yah’ Lo, she almost exactly quoted theories, pointed out where they were wrong, fixed them on my holo pad. I wasn’t sure what tah’ even _do_ with that!” Mary exclaimed, the normally lanky woman waddling around her hotel room to make her tea, her computer set up on the bed so her partner could see her at all times. “I haven’t seen anyone do that in… years, mercy. I couldn’t quote that when I was 17.”

“Mary, when we were seventeen, we were too busy designing robotics to find space rocks as energy. You _could_ have quoted a formula, you were just too busy trying to help me finish my assignments… and looking at my ass.”

She let out an indignant squawk. “I dinnae what yer talking about!” She turned her back to the camera, rustling around with her electric kettle and multiple containers of tea. 

“You may not, but my ass did.”

There was another squawk of higher-pitched Scottish slang, making Arlo laugh at the sight of their girlfriend not look back at them as she prepared her afternoon tea, “Behave yerself, Lo! There’ll be small ears soon, and then where will we be?”

They chuckled softly, “I think we’ll be just fine, Mary.” They promised, then tensed as their girlfriend tensed and placed her hands on her stomach, looking down in a very confused manner. “Mary, love? What’s wrong?”   
  
The redhead was silent for a moment, hand gently trailing over her baby bump. “They… moved.” She whispered, “I think, I felt them… move.” She glanced up to the camera, eyes nervous but excited. 

Arlo blinked, kind of sitting up in their bed and tilting their head. “You felt the baby move…?” They repeated hesitantly, “That’s… that’s great, baby.” They managed, voice a little pained for a moment, but they hid it well. Mostly. 

Mary was grinning, looking at her baby bump with a wide smile. “I can’t wait to come home.” She whispered, abandoning her tea to go sit on the bed by her computer, watching her partner with joy. “So that you can experience it with me. Everything.” 

They just smiled a little and nodded. “Yeah.” They whispered, watching the woman for a moment before shaking their head, just listening to the woman start rambling excitedly about the baby. 

\------------------------------------------------------

_“Mommy…? Am I the reason Nibi left you…?”_

_  
_ _  
_ _“Och, no, no darlin’. Of course, yah aren’t.”_

_  
_ _  
_ _“Then why did they? If it wasn’t me…?”_

_“That’s… something ya will have tah ask them yerself, Newtie.”_

\------------------------------------------------------

Mary nearly burst down the door in her excitement, carefully dragging her suitcase behind her. “Lo! Arlo!!” She called excitedly, a bright smile on her face as she looked for her partner. “I’m back! Just got in from the flight but I’m excited for that dinner ya’ promised!”   
  
There was no response. 

Her eyes narrowed a little bit and her shoulders fell, the scientist leaving her bag by the door as she took hesitant steps into the apartment, looking around carefully. “Lo, it probably isn’t best to scare me-” She started, carefully flipping on lights as she walked through the place. Everything _looked_ fine, nothing was missing, there were no signs of a struggle. 

So where were they?

She checked every room, worried that her partner would just jump out from behind something with a bouquet of roses in their hand and their wide, lopsided smile on their face. But it never came, the silence starting to ring in her ears as her searching grew more worried and frantic. 

When she got to their shared room, she stopped, eyes falling on the small tablet in the center of the neatly made bed. She carefully stepped inside, eyes focused on the device. With a trembling hand, she reached for it, and flipped it on, watching as a hologram of Arlo appeared, ‘sitting’ on the bed, on their ‘side’ of it.   
  
“Hey, love.” They spoke quietly, a bit of sadness in their voice. “I guess… if you’re seeing this, it means you got home alright, which is good, that’s good.” They were quiet for a moment before they sighed softly. “And you can probably tell that I’m not there, and I don’t know how well you’ve checked the room-”   
  
At that, Mary turned and started to frantically search through drawers, pulling one after another open and revealing that all of her partner’s possessions were gone. Clothes, earrings, other pieces of jewelry, books in shelves that they had by their bed, everything Arlo owned, was missing.

“-but my stuff is gone. I’m… leaving. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. I should have realized before we started this journey and before we agreed to have the baby, but I’m not… ready for all of this. I wasn’t ready. I’m still not ready. I’m sorry. I know that that isn’t a lot and it doesn’t make it better, but I should have realized that where I am in life right now, I wasn’t ready for this. I’m not ready to be a parent, Mary. I’m not.” Their voice cracked slightly, “I… fucked this up, fucked us up. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, my love.” The recording fell silent, and Arlo just sat there, staring at nothing. They couldn’t see their girlfriend on her knees in front of them, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stared up at them. 

“I don’t think it was so bad until you went to this lecture.” They admitted softly, “Until I… missed things that I had been waiting for, to maybe feel more connected with the baby. But then I missed them because you were so far away, I missed them because you had picked work over staying home with me to rest even though you were on leave. I missed more because of my work, and I’d continue to miss more because the workload just won’t let up, and…” They sighed, “I got an offer, on Talos. For some new substance that they’ve found, something they think will help us figure out all of our problems. Give us hope. They want me to head the expedition to find it. So when you get this… I’ll be several planets away, in snow and ice, digging through rocks to find a way for our child to continue to live in these Outlands.” They let out the softest little chuckle, one full of sadness. “God… I’m such a coward. And selfish. I should never have let anything get this far. I’m so sorry, Mary. We should have talked more, I should have been totally honest and I just… I wasn’t.” They ran their hand over their face, swiping at their eyes and then clearing their throat. “I uh, I left some extra funds in your nebula cookie jar. In case you needed it. Please don’t work too hard. Don’t put yourself at risk, and be careful because of those damn reporters. Let Reid help you all that she can. She’s a great assistant, that one. And I know you’ll keep working, just… don’t forget to take care of yourself, my darling. Please. For both of you.” 

The hologram flickered, and they looked over at nothing. “Ah, I’m… running out of time, but please, Mary, please remember to-” The image froze, then flickered again, a speech bubble appearing with the words, “Recording limit reached.” just before the light disappeared, and the room grew dark.

She just stared at the place where the image of her partner had been sitting, on her knees with her hands resting on the bed, entire form trembling with grief, loss, everything in between. This wasn’t… happening, right? It was just a bad dream, one she had from being away so long. She’d wake up, be back in her hotel, and she could call Arlo and everything would be okay again, right? This was just… just a misunderstanding, just something her anxieties had dreamed up. 

...right?

  
  


\------------------------------------------------------

_“Hey, easy there, sweetheart. Take your time. You don’t have to tell me anything that’s too hard, okay?”_

_“No, no I… I have to tell ya this. Ya deserve to know. All of it.”_

_“Mary-”_

_“I know. I know. It will all make sense in the end, though.”_

\------------------------------------------------------

  
  


She wasn’t dreaming. 

She didn’t imagine it.

That had been almost five months ago, and since she’d gotten the hologram, there hadn’t been any word from Arlo, none from their company about where they had been sent on Talos, no word about… _anything_. 

Mary had thrown herself into her work, staying mostly in her office at the labs, writing formulas and theories over every surface she could get her hand on. None of them were right, which made her more and more frustrated as time went on. She hated this, hated this empty feeling that even her stars and robotics couldn’t distract her from.   
  
She huffed and pushed herself back from the desk, struggling to stand and then waddle over to her coffee maker, carefully pushing the buttons to start another cup of decaf coffee ( her doctor’s insistence ), pinching the bridge of her nose with a low sigh. There had to be an answer, a solution, _something_. 

She let out a breath as she felt the baby bounce, a hand going to her stomach. “Easy, lad.” She whispered softly, “I know yer eager, but yah’ gotta wait a few more hours, giver yer maw a chance to figure this out.” She sighed as the baby just seemed to bounce again, a wave of something washing over her. “Newton, please, I have to finish these formulas.” 

She just shook her head and gently took her cup, placing in her cream and sugar and stirring it carefully before waddling back to her desk and into her chair, carefully pulling herself closer with a groan. She spared a glance to the photo by her monitor, where she and Arlo were standing with a few of their former colleagues in front of a prototype of a generator. It hadn’t worked for the long term, but it bought them more time and funding. And Arlo had been-

The redhead stopped, eyes still focused on the picture before she shook her head and just pushed the picture face down on the desk. She reached for her glasses and slid them onto her nose, leaning forward to look at her computer and then to her tablet, then taking her pen and scribbling away, the equations on boards around her being erased and replaced with new ones as she edited them. 

Another wave of that tightening feeling washed over her, and she bit her lip, putting down her tablet and staring at her stomach and unborn child. “What is _with_ you today?” She asked in exasperation. “Ya’ve never been this antsy, ya wee one.” She sighed softly and then tried to go back to work, carefully scribbling away on her tablet and then hissing as the second wave of that feeling coursed through her, and she braced on the desk. “What the hell?” She muttered something, then reached for her phone, opening communications to her assistant. “Reid, can ya’ come here for a second? The wee one is bein’ a bit frustratin’, and I need someone tah talk me through these problems.” 

There was a long pause before her assistant patched back through. “Mary… why are you still working?” 

She looked confused, “Because I gotta get these done, I thought it was obvious-” 

“Your due date is in a week, and you’re still doing formulas? Go home, Doctor Somers. Please.” Her assistant sounded exhausted, “You’ve barely been getting sleep and no matter what you say, your sofa can’t be that comfortable.”

Mary blinked, her gaze dropping to her stomach with her hand still on the phone. 

“...Mary? Doctor? Are you alright?” Reid’s voice came through worriedly.

“I think-” Mary started shakily, “I may need tah go to the hospital.”

“What, why- oh. Oh dear.” There was a kind of flustered noise, and then squeaking as Reid got out of her squeaky office chair. “Do you think you’re…?”  
  
“I dinnea rightly know.” She admitted, “I thought it was just little Newton bouncing around again, but now I ain’t sure, and I am feelin’ a little different.” She carefully leaned back in her chair with her hand over her stomach. “Just… hurry, will yah’, dearie?”

“Heard that. Be there in two minutes.” Came the somewhat hurried reply, before the connection cut off, and Mary was left alone.

Her gaze wandered to the picture frame on her desk, and she hesitated before reaching out with a trembling hand and lifting it up, bringing it closer and letting her fingertips brush over Arlo’s face. “God, I miss yah’.” She breathed, “I need yah’ more than you’ll ever know, Lo.” A wave of that tightening sensation with a bit of pain coursed through her and she kind of grunted, gritting her teeth and then looking down at her stomach. “Newton, yer so impatient.” She chastised gently, waiting for the sensation to pass before she managed to smile a little. “Just a wee bit longer, aye?” 

\------------------------------------------------------

_“The day he was born was the hardest, I think. Or maybe the weeks after.”_

_“Because they weren’t-?”_ _  
  
_

_“There, yeah. Was just me and little Newtie. Us against the world.”_

_“...I’m sorry. If I could have-”_

_“Hush now. It was eighty years ago, darlin’, what could you have done?”_

\------------------------------------------------------

So it took quite a bit to keep Mary from coming back to work once the doctor’s cleared her to go home because even though she was tired, she could do her work and take care of her newborn, right?

Well her colleagues decided that for her own health, she was _not_ coming back to the office for a while, and changed all the door codes, so Mary actually couldn’t get into her office. And they sent Reid and other scientists to check on her every so often, bring her hot meals around appropriate times to make sure she was eating properly, and so they could all visit the little one. 

Mary handled it very well, or so everyone thought, juggling the baby and still doing what work she had at home like a well-oiled machine, or at least that’s what everyone else saw. They didn’t see the woman collapse in her chair when Newton finally fell asleep for a while, how she would rub her face and just close her eyes to breathe. To try and focus on anything then her still aching heart. 

So it startled her when there was a soft knock on the door at almost 2 am, the woman stirring slightly and glancing towards her son’s room before forcing herself up with a low breath, rubbing her eyes and then pulling it open, not even really looking at the person at first, and just assuming it was her assistant here to give her a break from baby duty, “He’s asleep right now, Reid-” Then she froze, her eyes widening. 

Arlo stood before her, bundled up in several layers and looking like they just walked off the ship. At her words, they sort of blinked, then smiled a little bit. “They… were a boy?” 

Mary just nodded, staring at them as so many different emotions bubbled within her, gaze slowly growing colder.   
  


They shifted from foot to foot, “May I come-”  
  


“No.” Her voice was sharp when she spoke, and honestly, she didn’t even recognize herself. “Why are ya’ here, Arlo?”

They swallowed, just watching her nervously. “I… came to check on you, make sure that you were doing okay, and I knew it was close to the time for the baby-” 

“Five months!” She hissed, suddenly moving and putting herself in the doorway, fury rolling off her. “Ya’ve been gone for five _fucking_ months, not word, no email, not even one of those stupid letters ya’ like so much. _Nothing_ . Yer own company wouldn’t tell us where the hell ya’ were, and ya’ just _waltz_ back in here, and want tah come in tah’ _my_ house? No.” She shook her head, blue eyes almost flaming. “Yer not here to see me, Arlo. What do you _want_?” 

They were silent for a long moment, before they sighed, “I did come to check on you.” They admitted softly, “I was worried. I know you. I thought you would overwork yourself, and I didn’t want you to get hurt or be sick.” They cleared their throat, “I never stopped loving you-”

“Bullshit!” She snapped, pulling back and crossing her arms over her chest, “If ya had loved me, ya’ would have talked to me about how ya; were feelin’ instead of running away like a bampot to another _fucking_ planet. So just… save it.” She shifted to be in a position to close the door, eyes still narrowed. “Say what you want and then go.”

They just stared at her, before nodding slightly. “I changed my mind about the baby. I want to… help, be in his life. I want to be here for him, for both of you.” They shifted to try and be closer to Mary. “I want to be here. Please.”

She just stared at them… and laughed. “Ya’ can be in our son’s life, under supervision, but ya’ can _never_ be in mine again.” She replied dryly, “Now go, it’s late and I don’t want ya’ to disturb him.” Then she pushed the door shut, and slid to the floor, pressing her forehead against the door as tears slid down her cheeks, silent sobs racking her body as the pain from the last five months caught up with her and overtook her. 

\------------------------------------------------------

_“So that was… how you ended up raising him on your own?”_

_“Aye, it was. But ya’ know why I have tah go back tah him. I left him with his godmother, but Arlo still has partial custody, and I don’t… trust them.”_

_“Mary, don’t worry about it, okay? I know you have to go back. I would go back in time to save Jackson or anyone I could. I knew this was coming. It’s okay.”_

Mary stared at her girlfriend, standing in her spacesuit before the chamber she had made to return to her son, watching the other woman. “Is it?” She asked softly. “Is it really okay? I’m… I dinnea if I can come back, Anita. I want ta’ but I can’t just leave him again, I can’t-”

Anita just stepped forward and put both of her hands on Mary’s cheeks. “Sweetheart, stop apologizing.” She whispered, “I always knew you would go back. And it’s okay. I accepted that.” Her smile was full of sadness. “You go, you find your little boy, and you tell him Anita says hi from the future, okay?”

She bit her lip, then put her hand over Anita’s on her face. “Come with me.” She whispered, “Please. Come with me, and stay with us.” 

“Mary-”

“Anita, I don’t want ta’ leave ya. I… If I hadn’t found the solution to get back, I would have stayed with ya’ and been so happy. Come with me. Be Newton’s mom. Please. Tell him hi yourself.” 

Anita gazed at her for a moment, then around the room, then back to her girlfriend. 

“One condition.”

“Aye?”

“Marry me.” 


End file.
